and away we go.

This kid.

I do believe Mr. Finn may have just had his official first tantrum.  Full-fledged screaming/crying/ hysteria.
Want to know why?

Because we ran out of broccoli.

This kid.

one of those days

There are some days when I'm not sure I'm doing this parenting thing "right" at all.But yesterday was not that kind of day.

Good company

Great views

....and a sure sign of spring!
(not to mention hot cocoa!)


Man, I wonder sometimes how I lived without this little man in my life. He's pretty much the best person I ever met.

B

I love...B
Baby laughs - the way they take him completely by surprise and get caught up in his throat. How they seem to simply spill out of him as his whole body spasms.


Bliss - succumbing to the drowsiness for just a minute

...and belly rolls before bathtime

come right in!

Welcome to Finn's room! 

This is a post I've been meaning to write for a while, but just hadn't gotten around to, and hadn't taken the "right" pictures of yet, though I'd tried a few times. Yesterday, though, I got inspired to get the photos up (you'll see why in a minute). For now, let's take the tour!

 This is the view from Finn's crib of his door, bedecked with a beautiful name rug made my a dear friend of ours. It's the first part of his bedtime ritual with his Dad, where they say goodnight to everything in his room, starting with his rug. Very sweet, let me tell you.  The print on the wall is tough to see, but it's a gem that I bought several years ago, just knowing that it would fit perfectly in with whatever nursery we wound up with and has been on the wall since long before Finn was born. The curtain on the far left is one I whipped up in a fit of sewing madness to cover up the mess that is the inside of his closet. It's the latest "under the sea"-themed things in his room. I wasn't going for a "theme", but we seem to sort of have one anyway. Such is my life.

Here we are with more underwater action (taking photos of windows is hard!).  My aunt makes really beautiful netted bags and created this mobile as a special request from me. It wound up being a bit too long for the ceilings in his room, so now it hangs in the window, which I quite like anyway. And it matches the curtain I made for him perfectly :)  The curtain fabric is also what will be on his bumpers when his mattress is low enough for them to fit! Ah, the benefits of having a stationary child. 

 Just below the mobile is this former bait box, now toy box painted by our friend, who is the Art teacher on the island - without seeing Finn's room, she just happened to paint it in the exact same colors as his wall and floor. It was meant to be. 

Finn's outrageously awesome lamp was a gift from his grandparents, created by a local artist and destined to be a part of his world for a long time. He's an absolutely perfect addition to his space (just love the nonplussed expression on him). You can't see it now, but the rug on the floor in front of the box is yet another underwater image of a whale.

This is probably one of my favorite details in Finn's room: a toolbox that my great-grandfather (Maddox), and my grandfather (Crossman) used when they were in business together. It's been repurposed as a toy shelf, and I LOVE it's beaten up "distressed finish". I found it in my Dad's shop in a pile of stuff he was going to bring to the dump, and knew it had to be mine.

Ah, and here we are at the piece de resistance...the crib. It was created as a labor of love by Finn's grandfather and daddy and is absolutely stunning in birch. It converts from a crib to a toddler bed to a full-sized bed, so the time and energy that was put into it will be with him for a looong time. Which is good, considering that we spent WAY more for the wood than we would have if we had simply purchased a crib in the first place. Ah well, live and learn. I love it just the same.



There are totally sweet creatures atop his crib watching over him - a stegosaurus made by a super crafty friend, and owl made by another out of recycled sweaters.
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oh, and I made the sheet.  Feeling pretty bad ass about that.  And it was this small fact upon which this entire post was based.
I just really, really, really love that so many of the things in his room were made for him or are reminders of very important people in his life (and there are so many that didn't make it into these photos! - Meg, you're getting your own post :)  And I'm glad that I can be part of that crafty little world that he gets to live in.
There. Thanks for indulging me :)

love notes

Here we go - as promised, moments from the week that I captured in hopes of becoming more present and basking in what I have, while acknowledging that it is not, nor will it ever be, perfect, and that is perfectly ok.

Dear Finn,

I love your smiles and laughs...

I love your ability to let us know what you want, even without words...

...even when you're being loud about it.

I love your curiosity about everything in your world.

I love how adventuresome you are about eating ANYthing that we do (even spicy peanut sauce!), but aren't even remotely interested in eating the "baby food" I've spent time making and freezing for you

I love, love, love the top of your head that (though I can hardly believe it) is even softer than it looks in these photos....

...and the way you've just got to know what's going on at all times.


...not to mention those eyes :)

It's such a privilege to know you - every day is an adventure.

Love,
mama
(they won't always be this sappy - promise!!)

balancing act

So now that the play is over, my time has been filled with finalizing grant proposals, cooking for my whole foods course, and - of course - being mama. 

Know what? It's really hard.

I guess I'd fooled myself that after all of the rehearsals were over, my time would be my own again - I'd have these two blocks of time during the day when Finn would nap and I'd (for lack of a better phrase) "getter done".  Yet again, the young man has different plans.  Instead of the 2-2&1/2 hour naps he was rocking last week and into the weekend, this week has boasted a parade of 1/2 hour naps with Mr. Fussy Crankypants in between.  But he's only like that for me - for his grandparents, for the day care providers, for his daddy, he's Mr. Personality.

I feel like I get stuck in these moments sometimes - when I focus more on the less-than-perfect side of things. I find myself wishing he was different, or that he was older....but then  have this flash, this moment of reality that this is not going to last forever. This little person won't be so little for long. I won't cherish every little moment, and I'll try to be gentle with myself when I find myself wishing for a little alone time (or a full night's sleep!), but I will be present for him now.

I was getting him undressed for his bath tonight, and he was smiling and squirming around, such a chubby, happy little dude, and I was RIGHT THERE with him. It felt so good, and it makes it all worth it.

So in that tradition, I'm going to choose a moment every day and notice it, and at the end of the week, I'll post them here. A friend of mine has been doing this every day since her first child was born, and it's only taken me 7 months to catch on :) Another has a notebook titled "Love Notes", where she writes random moments in the lives of her boys. I like the idea and I think it will help me a lot to look for those moments and to honor them...help keep me on track and remembering my priorities. He's certainly worth it.

blogs new and old...

So I think we might have a tooth or two on the way...I hope it's the latter because if we have to do this every time Finn gets a tooth, I might die.
No, not really.
Well, maybe.
God, who would have thought I'd wind up with such a sensitive little dude?  I mean, I'm super sensitive and Chad's super sensitive, but I thought maybe it skipped a generation. Guess not.
Man, we had SUCH a rough day on Saturday- Finn took about an hour total in naps and was just super cranky allllll day unless a boob was in his mouth. I'm so grateful that Chad was home this weekend, which allowed me a bit of a respite, but it was pretty heinous.
Of course, that night, he slept from 7pm to 4am, which is a first. I could definitely get used to sleeping for 7 hours straight.  Incidentally, I actually woke up before him, realized what time it was, decided that he was probably dead, and spent about ten minutes debating whether to go find out for sure or go back to sleep and enjoy the next few hours of sleep before making the discovery. Luckily, he chose that moment to squawk and jog me out of my unpleasant musings.
Ah well, it's not so bad right at the moment - he's been asleep for nearly two hours, which has allowed me to write not one but TWO blog posts, so that's a bonus. What other blog post did I write, you ask? (Did you like that segue?)
I've been really inspired to be crafty as of late as I mentioned in my last post, so I figured I'd try to nurture that side of things a bit and start a blog about it - if you'd like to check it out, there is a brand spanking new post at www.missionsimplification.blogspot.com.
In the meantime, here's a super cute photo of Finn with his teething toy of choice...

yes, it's a banana toothbrush. and it's awesome.