EnlargeCourtesy of Sarah Crossman
Finnley James Crossman-King was born July 3. Read Sarah's account of how he came into the world.
(first published on NPR's Baby Project)
I'm kind of experiencing a form of multiple personality syndrome.
I'm kind of experiencing a form of multiple personality syndrome.
I'm 32, and until this point, I was very much part of a population that did not have children. Don't get me wrong — we do have friends with kids, but for the most part, the majority of the people we hung out with on a regular basis are childless.
Now, I'm the only one with a kid. Everyone's really happy for me and going ga-ga (pun intended) over Finn for now, but I wonder what's going to happen when we have to refuse the bonfires and late-night soirees we used to thrive on.
About Sarah
Even when I was pregnant, I was always the girl who said that my kid wouldn't run my life — that I would maintain my independence, and that the kid would just have to learn to adjust.
Well, I think anyone who's seen me over the past week and two days would have to say otherwise.
As cliche as it sounds, I didn't think my life would change this much, and to be totally honest, I didn't think I'd love him so dang much from day one. These hormones really know how to do their job. I'll just be sitting here, minding my own business, and some sappy song will come on iTunes shuffle, and all of a sudden, I'm a big, sodden mess weeping over how in love with my son I am. Really? Me? When the heck did this happen?
Of course, as I write this, I'm sitting here with Finn in my lap, waiting to hand him over to my husband who should be getting home from work any minute now so I can walk the dog and have a minute to myself. I love the sentiment, and I want Chad to bond with Finn, of course, but truth be told, if I didn't have to ever put him down again, I'd be totally OK with that.
It's really a mind-blowing process, and I hope I'm able to find a balance between this crazy love I feel and the life I once had. I know it won't be the same, but I do hope to return to a sense of normalcy, of balance.
I don't want to raise a spoiled brat, but I do want him to know just how much I love him, and that he can count on me to always put him first.
OK, this is the last sappy update I'll write. It must be the combination of hormones and lack of sleep that are making me so sentimental. Geez, when did I become this girl?
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