Friday, February 24, 2012

love notes

Here we go - as promised, moments from the week that I captured in hopes of becoming more present and basking in what I have, while acknowledging that it is not, nor will it ever be, perfect, and that is perfectly ok.

Dear Finn,

I love your smiles and laughs...

I love your ability to let us know what you want, even without words...

...even when you're being loud about it.

I love your curiosity about everything in your world.
I love how adventuresome you are about eating ANYthing that we do (even spicy peanut sauce!), but aren't even remotely interested in eating the "baby food" I've spent time making and freezing for you
I love, love, love the top of your head that (though I can hardly believe it) is even softer than it looks in these photos....
...and the way you've just got to know what's going on at all times.

...not to mention those eyes :)

It's such a privilege to know you - every day is an adventure.

(they won't always be this sappy - promise!!)

Thursday, February 16, 2012

balancing act

So now that the play is over, my time has been filled with finalizing grant proposals, cooking for my whole foods course, and - of course - being mama. 

Know what? It's really hard.

I guess I'd fooled myself that after all of the rehearsals were over, my time would be my own again - I'd have these two blocks of time during the day when Finn would nap and I'd (for lack of a better phrase) "getter done".  Yet again, the young man has different plans.  Instead of the 2-2&1/2 hour naps he was rocking last week and into the weekend, this week has boasted a parade of 1/2 hour naps with Mr. Fussy Crankypants in between.  But he's only like that for me - for his grandparents, for the day care providers, for his daddy, he's Mr. Personality.

I feel like I get stuck in these moments sometimes - when I focus more on the less-than-perfect side of things. I find myself wishing he was different, or that he was older....but then  have this flash, this moment of reality that this is not going to last forever. This little person won't be so little for long. I won't cherish every little moment, and I'll try to be gentle with myself when I find myself wishing for a little alone time (or a full night's sleep!), but I will be present for him now.

I was getting him undressed for his bath tonight, and he was smiling and squirming around, such a chubby, happy little dude, and I was RIGHT THERE with him. It felt so good, and it makes it all worth it.

So in that tradition, I'm going to choose a moment every day and notice it, and at the end of the week, I'll post them here. A friend of mine has been doing this every day since her first child was born, and it's only taken me 7 months to catch on :) Another has a notebook titled "Love Notes", where she writes random moments in the lives of her boys. I like the idea and I think it will help me a lot to look for those moments and to honor keep me on track and remembering my priorities. He's certainly worth it.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

blogs new and old...

So I think we might have a tooth or two on the way...I hope it's the latter because if we have to do this every time Finn gets a tooth, I might die.
No, not really.
Well, maybe.
God, who would have thought I'd wind up with such a sensitive little dude?  I mean, I'm super sensitive and Chad's super sensitive, but I thought maybe it skipped a generation. Guess not.
Man, we had SUCH a rough day on Saturday- Finn took about an hour total in naps and was just super cranky allllll day unless a boob was in his mouth. I'm so grateful that Chad was home this weekend, which allowed me a bit of a respite, but it was pretty heinous.
Of course, that night, he slept from 7pm to 4am, which is a first. I could definitely get used to sleeping for 7 hours straight.  Incidentally, I actually woke up before him, realized what time it was, decided that he was probably dead, and spent about ten minutes debating whether to go find out for sure or go back to sleep and enjoy the next few hours of sleep before making the discovery. Luckily, he chose that moment to squawk and jog me out of my unpleasant musings.
Ah well, it's not so bad right at the moment - he's been asleep for nearly two hours, which has allowed me to write not one but TWO blog posts, so that's a bonus. What other blog post did I write, you ask? (Did you like that segue?)
I've been really inspired to be crafty as of late as I mentioned in my last post, so I figured I'd try to nurture that side of things a bit and start a blog about it - if you'd like to check it out, there is a brand spanking new post at
In the meantime, here's a super cute photo of Finn with his teething toy of choice...
yes, it's a banana toothbrush. and it's awesome.