Friday, September 13, 2013

where we are.

Can we just talk about poop for a minute?

Yes, I realize that's not the way to start a conversation after an 8 week hiatus, but it's what's on my mind right now.

It's 5am and I'm googling "infant constipation", my 8 week old grunting noisily in the background, having not had a significant bowel movement since Saturday. I'm pretty sure she's going to explode. Welcome to my world.

I look back at how much time and energy I had to write about my experiences with Finn, at how religiously I updated his baby book, how dang many pictures and videos I have of him, and I get concerned about Lorelei seeing all of this as she grows up as a sign that we love Finn more. I can certainly see how that might be the case and how a second child could be sad about it. This whole sibling thing is new to me, having grown up primarily as an only child with a single mom and I just want to make sure they're treated equitably. I guess the number of photos I've taken or the completion of a baby book doesn't necessarily indicate the level of love we have for a chile, though, huh? I would like to write a bit more about her, though, because I know that these days are short and that I will look back on them and wonder whether they were a dream.

Let me tell you a bit about my girl, Lorelei.
She's a little dream. She's just got this fantastic, chill disposition and can sleep through anything (actually seems to sleep better when her brother is screaming inches from her face and I'm running the vacuum). She's beginning to smile now, and quite obviously adores the men in her life, giving them these enormous, toothless grins, and saving the little milk drunk smirks for me. Her big eyes are taking it all in, and she's generally quietly observing (well, to be honest, she hasn't got much choice with her extrovert brother around), but can certainly make herself heard and her needs known when she wants to.
Her eyelashes are coming in - every day, they seem to grow another inch, and I'm nearly convinced that she and Finn are going to have matching fans. I wonder and wonder whether her eyes will stay blue. She's such a little mystery to me, this dark haired, olive complexioned beauty who is somehow mine.
She seems kind. And happy. And patient. Other things I can teach her, but these things are harder, and I'm glad they seem a part of her nature.
Everyone is surprised by how strong my girl is. I hope her physical strength is an indication of her emotional fortitude ans her strength of character.
She is a surprise, a gift, a blessing, and a miracle. I love her so.

And Finn? Well, Finn is just blowing my mind every day. He's talking up a storm, really communicating now (and imitating, and repeating - oh dear...need to censor ourselves sometimes!) We're just starting to see the beginnings of imaginative play - you know, when they start talking to themselves, making up stories? Oh man, it kills me. We were at the beach with the dog yesterday, and he was just having such a great time in his little world, picking up rocks and throwing them, narrating in this running babble the whole time.

The "terrible" parts of his "two" come and go, but are eclipsed by his obviously loving nature and sweet demeanor. These few weeks have been an adjustment for us all, but he's taken it all in stride, handling this new babe like a champ. Luckily, she's easy to love.

And me? Well, I'm tired. I've been giving massages since L was a few weeks old, but I started waitressing again last week and have been helping Chad on a roof a bit this week. It's all good, but taking its toll, and it's hard to get to sleep early - always something to be done, you know?  I've got a great, supportive partner - once we all get back in the swing of things, it'll just be a matter of staying balanced. Oh, and I signed up for a half marathon in April. Because I'm insane.

Family photo session on Saturday and apple picking with some of our favorite people on Sunday - working, playing, loving, living - and on and on we spin on this little blue planet.

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