Thursday, February 16, 2012
So now that the play is over, my time has been filled with finalizing grant proposals, cooking for my whole foods course, and - of course - being mama.
Know what? It's really hard.
I guess I'd fooled myself that after all of the rehearsals were over, my time would be my own again - I'd have these two blocks of time during the day when Finn would nap and I'd (for lack of a better phrase) "getter done". Yet again, the young man has different plans. Instead of the 2-2&1/2 hour naps he was rocking last week and into the weekend, this week has boasted a parade of 1/2 hour naps with Mr. Fussy Crankypants in between. But he's only like that for me - for his grandparents, for the day care providers, for his daddy, he's Mr. Personality.
I feel like I get stuck in these moments sometimes - when I focus more on the less-than-perfect side of things. I find myself wishing he was different, or that he was older....but then have this flash, this moment of reality that this is not going to last forever. This little person won't be so little for long. I won't cherish every little moment, and I'll try to be gentle with myself when I find myself wishing for a little alone time (or a full night's sleep!), but I will be present for him now.
I was getting him undressed for his bath tonight, and he was smiling and squirming around, such a chubby, happy little dude, and I was RIGHT THERE with him. It felt so good, and it makes it all worth it.