I didn't have an inkling of remorse when I dropped Finn off at daycare for the first time. I wasn't sad about giving him solid food instead of being exclusively breastfed. I hand him over at almost every available opportunity to anyone who wants to hold him.
So WHY oh why do I get weepy about this first tooth?
This weekend, we were settling in to some pre-nap quiet time, and Finn was getting distracted from the task at hand (falling asleep), so we were playing in his room and he came in to bite my nose. This is a bit of a phase he went through, and he doesn't do it so often anymore, so I obliged and popped my nose in his mouth.
We had seen the beginnings of this tooth for a few days, but thought there would be a heck of a lot of trauma and carrying-on when it was actually about to pop through.
Apparently not. This kid just keeps surprising me.
So here are these little ridges, the top of a tooth poking through in his mouth. No big deal, right? I mean, lots of kids have teeth way before 9 and a half months. So WHY did I get all misty?
I think it's actually a commercial's fault. We don't even have a TV, but watch shows occasionally on Hulu, and there's this one commercial (I'm not even sure what it's for) that talks about there only being so many toothless smiles.
And that got to me...those toothless smiles are almost over.
I find myself wondering if I've basked enough in this baby stage - if I could have spent more time with him - REALLY with him, you know? Not worrying about doing something else or wishing I could go take a nap. But I guess this is the balancing act I'm going to be performing from here on out. My priorities have changed so drastically within the last year - it's kind of like whiplash.
I do look forward to the future - to when Finn can tell us what he's thinking, to when he can run around outside and entertain himself. If I'm honest, I look forward to that every day. But I am starting to understand the "it goes by so fast" message and trying to be present for him now, to remember the details of these days because - as is evidenced by the incoming tooth, things change...and they'll never be quite like this again.
I am very fortunate to spend my days with this boy, with this friendly disposition, babbling "da-da- da" in his sweet voice... even if the "toothless smile" phase is coming to an end.