I’m practicing to be a grandfather. My grandchild and her parents are going to be living right next door for the next year so it’s necessary that I be prepared to be grand-fatherly all the time, not just now and then when we or they, like, come to visit. Forgive me if now and then I use ‘like’ as a conjunctive adverb. I figure if I’m going to be the grandfather of a 21st century child I should become, like, more contemporary. My relationship with my grandchild will not be occasional. They will be living only a short distance from our house. It’s nine feet, ten inches, give or take a fraction, to their bathroom window, which is where I expect to take delivery of the child most often. That makes sense because it will quickly become apparent to my daughter and her husband that handing the child through the win-dow means I won’t come in at the door and then linger, offering par-enting suggestions. I might, after taking the baby in my arms, opt, weather permitting, to hover out-side the window and offer the same sage counsel but whichever of them has given me the child has only to offer an excuse and shut the window, much easier than trying to push me out the door. If he is fussy I will walk her (I’m exper-imenting with pronouns) around the first floor of our house (seven-ty eight steps) singing Up a Lazy River and You Made Me Love You quietly in his ear just like I did with my daughter. I’ve been practicing with the cat who (or is it that?) prefers Lazy River. If she’s not being fussy though, I will play with him on a rug I’ve installed for that purpose in my office. I’ve some toys, a doll house and a tool-box and am ready. Phil Crossman
....and today, we took this photo.
all is right with the world.